Acceptance Speech
An office cleaner receives an unexpected award.
(3 minutes)
Well, this is a surprise!
I suppose I should say thank you? I mean, for having faith in me and for liking what I do … I mean, it – this cup – is lovely? … A thing of beauty some might say.
Is it real silver? Anyone got a magnet? Haha – no, only joking. It must be worth a bob or two … obviously, not that it matters … I mean, it’s the thought that counts, and yes, I’m really surprised you feel like this … but thanks.
It’s umm … lovely? Really lovely. Especially as I’ve never won anything before so … yeah … that makes it extra special …
I don’t know what I’m going to do with it, mind … I mean, I don’t have shelves … or a windowsill for that matter. I don’t even have a room actually … anyone got a spare one? Haha – no only joking … the broom cupboard is fine … haha.
Yeah, sorry, I mean I don’t expect you to house me as well as … you know give me this. I mean, you don’t even know me … I clean, I leave, job done …
What?
Yes, I clean. You know, the desks, the floor, the restrooms (and boy do they need cleaning – especially the men’s…)
Why?
Because I’m the cleaner, obviously…
What?
So this isn’t for me?
Oh right. Well, I did think it was odd … okay, well, I’ll leave you to it. But, thanks, you know, the crab sandwiches were divine. I’ve never had caviar before and I wasn’t keen, but that champagne… bloody lovely. If you’ve got any left, you know where I am!
Yeah, yeah, okay, I’m going I’m going … you know … back to my cupboard. See you all tomorrow?
© Wendy Storer 2021